I grew up feeling afraid, isolated, and different from others,
so when I found alcohol it felt like "The cure". I used alcohol
to fit in, and to dull the feelings of guilt, shame, pain, and
fear. It worked for awhile, but then the day came when alcohol
stopped being a friend. It turned on me, and affected everyone that
I loved, and cared for. Alcohol had slowly touched every facet of my life.

On December 25, 1992, I had a very profound experience, and
from that moment on I knew that I wanted to quit drinking,
because my life was unmanageable, and I felt insane. I didn't
know how I was going to stop drinking, or more importantly how
I was going to stay stopped.

I had a friend who was in recovery from alcoholism, and
she introduced me to Alcoholics Anonymous for which I will
be forever grateful, and indebted. I attended meetings
regularly, because I finally felt "a part of". I found a
way of life that doesn't compare to anything I have ever known,
or could dream of.

In my sobriety I have needed to utilize other resources
to help me on my journey through recovery. I was also able to
get in touch with my creative side, which I thought never
existed. My creativity has surfaced in art, photography,
drumming, guitar playing, doll house creations, and poetry.

I continue to nurture my recovery by attending AA meetings,
reaching out to others when I need help, or helping others
in need. I have also attended many self help groups that
have enriched my recovery. I just recently facilitated a
Rap Group, it was a chance for women to come together and
empower one another, by sharing their experience, strength,
and hope with each other; in order for each woman to grow
on their unique personal journeys.

I'm grateful to God that I am sober today. God has given
me so many gifts, and I'm thankful that I'm aware of what
they are today. He has always been a part of my life, but
I wasn't able to appreciate His presence until I entered
sobriety, and started to build a relationship with Him.

"Thank you God for my Sobriety Today!"

A Spiritual Axiom

It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us.
Twelve Steps And Twelve Traditions, p. 90

I never truly understood the Tenth Step's Spiritual
axiom until I had the following experience. I was
sitting in my bedroom, reading into the wee hours,
when suddenly I heard my dogs barking in the back
yard. My neighbors frown on this kind of distur-
bance so, with mixed feelings of anger and shame,
as well as fear of my neighbors'disapproval, I im-
mediately called in my dogs. Several weeks later the
exact situation repeated itself but this time, because
I was feeling more at peace with myself, I was able
to accept the situation-dogs will bark-and I
calmly called in the dogs. Both incidents taught me
that when a person experiences nearly identical
events and reacts two different ways, then it is not
the event which is of prime importance, but the
person's spiritual condition. Feelings come from in-
side, not from outward circumstances. When my
spiritual condition is positive, I react positively.

You will never fail unless you stop trying